Submitted by jvanmaren on February 14, 2012 – 11:21am

What compels me to do “Choice” Chain?

The need to protect women who have had abortions, children who may be future victims of abortion, and men who are ignorant of abortion, in partnership with doing the will of God, compels me to take action through “Choice” Chain.  My own experience may have ended quite differently had I not actively acknowledged that I needed help. I believe “Choice” Chain breaks through the lies of society and shows people the consequences of making that “choice,” thereby forcing them to face the truth and acknowledge that help is needed to overcome the devastating effects of abortion. Through the grace of God, I have been forgiven, He has led me back to Him and has given me the opportunity to share my experience and witness to the effects of abortion.

I’ve made bad decisions in my life, but none that I regret more than choosing abortion.  I made my choice, because like many other women, I believed and was told that abortion was the “easy way out.” My life circumstances seemed overwhelming for me and I didn’t feel as if I was either worthy or ready to bring a life into this world. What I didn’t know was how ending my child’s life would negatively affect me in every possible way.

I hit the lowest point in my life two years ago after my abortion.  I have never experienced such internal chaos as I did at that time.  I was having nightmares, was deeply depressed and was having debilitating panic attacks.  I never have felt more exposed, vulnerable and helpless. These words do not adequately describe the feeling.

I know now that if I had continued on the road I was heading down, I was in for an early death.  I sought medical help, psychological help, and even saw a naturopath to try to fix what was going on inside me.  No one could help or offer any explanation as to why this was happening to me.  I myself was in such denial as to whether my choice was wrong that I didn’t want to believe that my abortion had caused me these problems.

After frantically searching for help in every other direction, I realized that God was calling me back to Him.  I went to confession and began my re-conversion to the faith I had long forgotten. My Confessor advised me to get help through Rachel’s Vineyardand I started the long journey of healing. I attended one-on-one counselling and completed the program Forgiven and Set Free, offered through Post-Abortion Community Services in Vancouver.  The year I spent facing my pain was full of immense fear and regret but ultimately ended in forgiveness and a deeper relationship with my Maker.  After consecrating my life to Mary during my healing process and continually working on my soul, I began to pray fervently for God to use me and my experience to help put an end to abortion, ensuring that what happened to me would never happen to anyone else.

He answered my prayer quickly! Directly after I finished my program I attended the Pro-Life Apologetics training held by Ruth from CCBR.  The session motivated me to personally thank Ruth for the important work she is doing.  During our conversation, she mentioned that “Choice” Chain would be coming to Vancouver on a regular basis and they needed volunteers to help organize. God has called me to action!!

“Choice” Chain has offered me the opportunity to reach people with my regretful testimony.  I sincerely believe that people will acknowledge that abortion is an atrocity, not only to the children it destroys, but also to women emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically.  Society has lied to women for decades about the truths surrounding abortion.  I know that using my testimony through “Choice” Chain, will persuade others to choose life for their children and themselves, and if they have had an abortion to confront their fear and seek healing.